Broken Vestige

Confrontation began
nervously, I stood there
She quickly started before I could,
"Cory, you can be so pathetic"

"you're better off dead"
she whispered into my ear
so serene, so sincere
so beautiful, so deadly

she sounded so considerate
as she looked into my soul
with those bitter eyes of hers
suddenly, my body feels so heavy

"you're better off dead"
it rang again and again in my head
A pit in my gut spun and churned
I open my mouth and she yells,

"Shut your mouth!
Don't even speak.
Nothing you can say
will save you, redeem you"

"It's over!"
she said again and again
as she pushed me over
and ran away

As she escapes the grasps of my hands
I look at myself, my reflection
and I see nothing but a disease
regrets, lust, and selfishness

I sat alone in my dark, cold room
her words echo in my head
"please don't hate me, Rosaline
I've done nothing wrong to you" I scream

Everything I've done is an illusion
I petrify everything I've loved
There's nothing left in this empty corridor
should I spill every last drop?

forgive me mother,
forgive me, my friends,
All I tried to do was make everybody happy
but what about the fact that I'm still alone?

I'm nobody worth saving
so I'll drive this blade
up and down my arm
and watch my pretty creation begin

I deepen the razor until it hits bone
out of nothing but pure anger
praying for severe hypovolemia
I hope this pain casts away soon

The lighthouse had been burned out
so I sail, blindingly in the dark mist
the fog then surrounds my broken vestige
and now my ship has sunk, to rock bottom